


i know who you pretend i am

by billbert



Category: South Park
Genre: Blowjobs, Emotional Meltdowns, Friends With Benefits, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Tittyfucks, it has everything!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 07:20:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16035659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billbert/pseuds/billbert
Summary: three times kenny mccormick filled in for kyle broflovski.





	i know who you pretend i am

**1**

  
"you have no idea what it's like." cartman huffed, arms crossed. he was sitting criss-cross applesauce, smack-dab in the centre of kenny's bed. he was taking up the vast majority of the space, but kenny didn't care. he was fine chilling on the carpet, listening to eric's rant. it wasn't as though this was out of the ordinary.

kenny could predict the beats of the tirade, kyle this, kyle that - oh, have you heard? kyle did something something, cartman retaliated with something something, and the whole thing went to shit. he was only half-listening - he needed the other half of his focus to admire eric's mouth.

maybe it was weird to ogle your friend like that, but kenny had made a habit of studying eric's lips over a decade ago, and he wasn't about to stop anytime soon. they were a perfect heart shape - plump and pink and dewy. kenny was, at times, uncertain as to whether or not cartman could be real.

the rest of their gang had been whipped half to death by the ugly stick, giving stan an unfortunate sprinkling of facial hair, kyle the body of gumby, and kenny a mouth of the most jacked up teeth known to man. eric, however, seemed to have been spared.

he was just as cute and cherubic as he'd always been, and he was just as keen to play up the disconnect between his looks and personality as ever. he was beautiful, his perfect little nose and thick, dark lashes - he was a total _babe,_ and kenny wasn't ashamed to admit it.

well, he wasn't ashamed to admit it to _himself,_ but it was probably best kept a secret from the others. they didn't appreciate eric the way kenny did. sure, he was a fucking asshole of galactic proportions, but the kid had been put through the ringer. there wasn't much else he could've become.

and besides, he wasn't _all_ bad - he was clever as shit, told the funniest jokes kenny had ever heard, and when kyle and stan weren't around, he opened up more - and kenny never failed to be impressed with the hidden depths he found.

and yet...no matter how much he tried to justify his feelings, this was eric cartman he was talking about - this kid had killed people. this kid had made his enemy's parents into chili and made him eat it. he was a dangerous person - perceptive beyond his years, able to bend the world to his whims.

kenny had to proceed with caution at all times.

"it makes me so _mad,_ shit, kenny, you would _never_ understand - the way he _teases_ me like that! it's not just me, right? it's fucked up, right?" cartman babbled, and kenny quickly caught up. all he had to do was agree.

"yup, fucked up. definitely fucked up."

"sometimes i think he wants it too - i mean, he has to, at least a little, right? i'm not crazy, right? you see the way he gets all close whenever he yells at me - that's fucked up, right?" 

"yup, fucked up. definitely fucked up."

"but it just gives me the _biggest_ fucking blue balls, dude. it's the worst - plus, it's hard to find anywhere to be alone in this house. he just riles me up and bails. fucked up."

kenny finally caught up. like, _caught up._ it wasn't the first time eric had brought up his manic sexual obsession with kyle, and it wouldn't be the last. it was kinda nasty, hearing him go on like that, but kenny knew if his thoughts were allowed to roam free like that, they'd be just as bad, if not worse.

"i wanna know what he feels like. just once." eric sighed. a lull fell over the room - kenny received mental signals from cartman, begging for physical reassurance. he stood up, sat on the edge of the bed, and draped his arm around eric's round shoulders. 

"dude, kyle's not good for you. you're not good for him. you know that. i know it's not ever gonna stop you, but you have to think about this rationally."

"you know i can't do that. you know how my fucking mind works. kenny, i don't want healthy. i want to do bad things to kyle. i want him to do _awful_ things to me. maybe that shit doesn't make sense to you, but it is what it is." cartman said frankly, meeting kenny's gaze. "it's never gonna go away. we're gonna keep pushing each other, until..."  
"until...?"

"you know. until kyle breaks. the second he breaks, he's mine. and once he's mine," cartman sighed, almost dreamily. "i have a whole list of things i want the two of us to do together."

kenny winced at the thought of what might be on that list. he needed to change the topic before the afternoon was tainted entirely.

"you've got one helluva one track mind, y'know that? ever thought about...y'know...settling down with anyone else? you've gotta get lonely waiting around for a crazy piece of shit that's never gonna love you back." kenny ventured, words sounding, unfortunately, less subtle than he'd intended.

"are you making a pass at me?" cartman giggled. kenny loved it when he giggled. 

"only if you want it-" kenny smirked, knowing he could just play it all off as a joke. it wasn't the first time he'd fake-flirted with eric, if only to get that tiny moment wherein he could pretend they were, like, a _thing._ "just pretend i'm kyle. that's all you gotta do."

"mmm-" cartman hummed, toying with the idea. "you drive a hard bargain, mccormick."  
kenny knew he was just fucking around, but now that the idea of acting as cartman's personal kyle surrogate was in his head, he wasn't gonna be able to act normally.

"dude," kenny mumbled, looking cartman dead in the eyes with an intensity that wouldn't be able to go ignored. "i mean, from the way you've been ranting, sounds like you might _need_ some action. and you know i wouldn't make shit awkward. i do this all the time." okay, so maybe that last bit was a stretch, but kenny knew eric would bite.

"you serious?" cartman laughed. 

"you _serious?_ " cartman asked.

"wait, you're actually fucking _serious?_ " cartman gasped, scooching away from kenny.  
"i mean...again, up to you. but the offer's definitely there." kenny shrugged, his pride and dignity sliding off his shoulders and onto the carpet as he did so. 

cartman was silent, staring at the floor with intensity. deep in thought. kenny wanted to be deep in thot. kenny wanted his brain to be quiet for one fucking second so he could focus on how perfect cartman's skin was, how deliberately crafted he seemed to be. 

"kiss me." cartman said, almost a whisper.

"what?"

"you heard me. kiss me and i'll pretend you're kyle." cartman stated. it sounded childish when said aloud. something sixth graders should be doing, not high school burnouts cooped up in some shitty condo. "and if i hate it, you have to promise you'll stop."

"i promise."

kenny leaned forward - he'd kissed plenty of people during his two decades on earth. he knew how it went. they'd fumble, they'd knock teeth two or three times, the tongues would get involved, things would get too warm and wet, they'd pull apart and decide whether or not to continue.

cartman's eyes were shut, lips puckered. _he looked cute like that,_ kenny thought.

suddenly, the lips he'd spent ten years dreaming about were on his own - they were soft and plush, moving with an unexpected amount of dexterity. kenny ran his tongue over them - eric was sweet, sweet, sweet, all strawberry lipgloss and juicy fruit aftertaste.

kenny couldn't get enough - he was 14 again, rediscovering the difference between 'kissing' and 'making out'. this was definitely skirting dangerously close to 'making out' territory.

eric kissed and kissed and kissed, rolled his tongue around kenny's mouth until there was nothing left to discover. just when kenny felt a familiar warmth shoot down his spine, felt it pool between his legs, eric pulled away with a frown.

"that...wasn't realistic." he sighed, and kenny, for the first time, was granted with the privilege of seeing a flustered cartman. his cheeks were a delicious shade of pink, his lips dark from all the kissing. his pupils were huge, and his irises were darting around the room, deliberately avoiding kenny. "kyle would be a way shittier kisser than that."

"so you liked it?" kenny smirked, reaching up and running a hand through eric's soft hair. "we can do more."

kenny balked. he had sounded way too desperate - cartman was eyeing him with a look kenny definitely didn't recognize. was that happiness? glee? cartman's eyebrows were raised - as though he'd just realized he had sway over the situation. 

"did you like kissing me, kenny?" eric asked, a smug little smile sliding up onto his face. "you seemed to."

"i mean...i'm sure you've kissed enough people to be aware of the fact that you're a pretty good kisser, cartman." kenny retorted, though he had to admit he'd liked it more than he'd anticipated. he was fully prepared to have a perfect, awkward first kiss with cartman, but it seemed like he was in over his head at this point.

"you liked it a _lot,_ huh?" cartman snickered. "c'mere-"

cartman swung a leg over kenny's lap, straddling him. their eyes met, but only for a second - after that, it was all _feelings_ , eric's lips on his own, eric's hands on his chest, eric's hips rolling down onto his fucking -

 _shit -_

"mmm-" eric sighed, fat little hands balling up in the fabric of kenny's t-shirt. it was enough to make kenny tear down any remaining facades, enough for him to stop pretending he _wasn't_ dying to touch cartman. he dug his nails into eric's plump ass, eliciting a whimper of surprise. there was no going back from this moment.

eric pulled away. 

"you're so hard," he remarked, though kenny didn't see why that fact had to be said out loud. "don't tell me you're _this_ into me, mccormick-"

he _was_ that into him.

"i mean-" kenny began. "i mean, like-"

"kenny, just...keep your mouth shut for a few secs. one word out of you and i walk." cartman said quietly, voice warm and soft as it glided into kenny's ears. he wasn't about to lose this chance - _he zipped his fucking lips._

cartman was getting off on the feeling of control he had over kenny - that much was clear. he was all smiles, eyes widening at every tremble of kenny's hands. this was _bad..._

eric slid off of his lap and down onto the carpet. he was kneeling in front of him - and kenny's mind was going to some absolutely _depraved_ places. _please please please god - please - if this is a dream, please let me see it through to the end -_

chubby hands were fiddling with the zipper of his jeans - shit, was this real? was anything real? kenny's heart was thudding dangerously, knuckles white as he gripped the sheets in anticipation. he was hard to the point where it was actually a little humiliating - and of course, cartman didn't miss a beat.

"shit, you're _throbbing-_ " cartman laughed, stretching out the word until it sounded disgusting. "you really like me that much? what are you, a fuckin' chubby chaser?"

eric's hand wrapped around the base of his cock, warm and soft and almost as good as his insides would probably feel, kenny thought - the hand moved up and down slowly, teasing. of course, cartman wasn't going to make this easy.

"alright. i want you to tell me why you're this hard." eric dared him, thumb running over the tip of his dick, instantly finding the sensitive spots as if through instinct. kenny wondered how many other men had been in his position before. cartman was far too good at this - he had to have experience.

"well...i mean, an ass grinding on my crotch isn't gonna _not do anything._ " kenny mumbled, not particularly wanting to give cartman any more leverage than he already had.

"you know what i mean, kenny. tell me what you've been thinking about doing to me." eric said sweetly, relishing every word - he lowered his eyelids, giving kenny a look that almost killed him. it was unfair for _anyone_ to be this sexy, it was unfair for _anyone_ to hold this much power.

"your lips...they're perfect for this." kenny said, voice hushed. "and...you look like you'd feel good."

"feel good?"

"y'know. inside."

"gross," eric smiled. "but you're right - my lips _are_ perfect for this." 

he wasted no time - kissed the tip of kenny's shaft before taking it in his mouth and sliding down, slowly slowly slowly. 

shit...that _was_ perfect. kenny almost closed his eyes in bliss, but he fought against the urge, not wanting to miss out on this _view_ \- cartman's focused expression as he sucked, the way his thick little eyebrows knitted together, the way he made kenny _fall apart-_

he reached down, petting eric's silky hair, encouraging him to bob his head faster, take it a little _deeper -_

"mmmm-" eric hummed, eyes fluttering shut. he seemed to be enjoying himself, sucking with a bravado that kenny was suprised by.

he moved his head back, all the way back, until he pulled off. kenny's heart stopped - he wasn't going to leave him like this, was he? "how was that?" cartman asked, eyes glittering with something kenny couldn't place. 

"perfect." kenny admitted without a second thought. "but...you're not finished, right?"

cartman didn't answer, just looked away and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. kenny couldn't keep his eyes off of him if he tried - he'd never seen someone so gorgeous in his life. the sun hit eric's skin _just right,_ highlighting just how _soft_ he was, how pale, how much he _glowed._

he turned to face kenny. those _eyes._

"i'm probably about to cater to, like, half your fetishes-" cartman giggled, scooting closer. kenny didn't know what he was planning on doing, but he wasn't about to refuse. the situation had gone from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye, but his vulnerability was irresistible to eric, it seemed.

cartman grabbed at his own chest, pushing the plumpest parts together until he created cleavage. kenny's heart skipped a beat - he wasn't -

looking just a little embarrassed (but not wanting to back down), cartman pressed his chest around kenny's cock - there was just enough flesh there for it to work. the visual was driving kenny _insane,_ to the point where he was actually debating whipping out his phone to take a picture - but his mind would do that for him. a mental image for later. for forever.

"does this feel good?" eric asked, bouncing himself up and down, trying to create enough friction to keep kenny hard. he didn't have to try so much - kenny would've stayed hard no matter what happened next. 

"fuck-" kenny managed, voice stuck in his throat. "yes, fuck-"

he wouldn't last - cartman's eager expression, his _eyes -_

_he liked him. he liked him wayyyyy more than he should._

he didn't want to ask whether or not cartman was picturing kyle. he didn't care. all he cared about was how _sexy_ eric looked - porn was cancelled, it wasn't gonna do anything for him anymore. not after this.

"you can cum wherever you want-" cartman said coyly. kenny was barely able to process the sentence, though he was certain he'd hear it replayed over and over in his dreams that night. he couldn't hold back anymore-

he came across cartman's chest and face, hands scraping at the mattress, toes curled - he wanted him so _badly,_ wanted something he _couldn't have,_ wanted someone who _didn't belong to him -_

it didn't matter. that was _kenny's_ cum on eric's face - no matter what, he had this moment.

"you made a mess-" eric grinned, using his discarded shirt to do away with the unwanted fluid. there was no way of telling if he regretted it. he was impossible to read when he had his walls up - kenny felt a wave of useless desperation wash over him. his success had been fleeting. eric would never be his.

even if a moment like this were to take place again, it would always be kyle.

"don't catch feelings, alright mccormick?" eric smiled, though it was clear from his blank tone of voice that he too was trying to process what had happened, trying to figure out the appropriate way to act so as not to make things awkward.

"you know me. i don't do that shit-" kenny said, as he did that shit.

this was not gonna end well.

 

 

 **2**  
not a word of 'the incident' had been spoken since it had taken place. kenny was, on one hand, grateful - he hadn't known how to carry himself, had probably made himself vulnerable to cartman's psychological profiling. on the other hand, however, he was horny as fuck and wasn't able to think about anything other than eric cartman's dumb, beautiful face.

he wasn't good at keeping secrets - and it was always on his mind, always a slip of the tongue away from being made public. he wondered if stan and kyle noticed how the way he looked at cartman had changed. he wondered if they knew he wasn't able to stop thinking about holding him.

 _fucking holding him._ how lame was that? it wasn't even heated sexual fantasies anymore, it was just desire without clear form, desire to be next to eric no matter what the cost. it was pathetic.

he was alone in the room he shared with cartman, who had probably gone off to work or school or whatever it was that he did during the day. he was suprisingly private, out of the house more often than not. kenny wanted to know what went on in that head of his - actually, scratch that. he knew the gist of eric's kyle fantasies, but he didn't wanna see those in more vivid detail than he had to.

still moping about the fact that eric's mind was likely all-kyle, all the time, kenny made his way downstairs. the condo was unholy levels of quiet - he wasn't sure if anyone was home. that'd be nice. he loved his alone days - gave him time to think.

nope - there were sounds in the kitchen.

"stan and kyle went out to buy some breakfast shit." eric said simply, skipping past morning greetings and jumping straight into house updates. he didn't even make eye contact with kenny, didn't even stop going through his tea box, didn't even _pause._

_it drove kenny crazy._

"so...it's just you and me, huh?" kenny grinned, making sure the nuances were overt enough for eric to be unable to pretend he hadn't picked up on them. "all alone. all morning."

"desperate much?" cartman teased, finally deciding on a tea bag and putting his box away. he looked over his shoulder at kenny, giving him a smile. kenny was pissed at how quickly his heart warmed up, how quickly his mood went from shit to _the shit._

"i mean...maybe a little," kenny murmured. "last time was just...too good."

"last time? don't you mean _the only time?_ thought you said you wouldn't catch feelings."

"i haven't. i just..." he stammered, moving forward. he looked cartman up and down - cute. he was so cute - kenny's eyes returned to their old habit of staring at those lips, imagining what it'd be like to-

"go on, kiss me already." eric grinned, turning to face kenny, back against the counter. he called his bluff. kenny was certain that cartman could read his mind, and was currently plotting a way to use this newly found achille's heel to his advantage. but he didn't care - his body was _aching_ to touch him again.

kenny grabbed eric by the waist and heaved him up onto the counter, leaning forward and kissing him hard. he tasted even better than he had last time - kenny wondered if this was what it felt like to grow addicted to something. constantly craving that high - 

eric wrapped his legs around kenny's hips, pulling him closer. kenny's hands were in his hair, on his waist, up his shirt - it was messy but far more assured than their last kiss had been. cartman was still all kinds of irresistable, and kenny was hard after about thirty seconds. he didn't even have enough brain cells left to be embarrassed.

"why do you want this so much?" eric asked, genuinely seeming a little bewildered by kenny's intensity. he placed his hands on kenny's shoulders with just enough pressure to imply _slow down._ kenny thought the answer to that question was pretty fucking obvious, but cartman actually seemed a little confused for once.

"well...the other day," kenny began, hands resting on eric's hips. "it reminded me of how i felt the first time i smoked weed. it made me pissed off that i'd spent so long without it." he was trembling a little, the words rattling around his throat as though he were being shook by something much larger than him. 

"spent so long without what, me?" cartman chuckled, the tremor in his voice betraying him - kenny could sense his disbelief, could sense the cracks in his normally-perfect veneer. "there's plenty of other people who can do what i do. no need to spend all your pent-up lust thinking about me." the words were cloying, cunning, _daring_ kenny to contest their message and thus confirm his subservience to eric.

"no, there's not." kenny sighed, submitting to him. "trust me, i've been with more than a handful of people. and not once have i felt the way i felt the other day." it was embarrassing to admit it, but kenny had left that situation feeling all kinds of satisfied and excited, even the pangs of jealousy he felt towards kyle were fun in their own way.

"that's pretty sad-" eric whispered, leaning forward to plant a string of tiny kisses up kenny's neck. "methinks you need to expand your social circle."

kenny had no more patience. stan and kyle could very well be coming home any minute. time was of the essence - he palmed the front of eric's shorts, hoping for a reaction. he needed _something,_ he was _starving-_

"what're you doing?" eric mumbled, voice climbing the scale as he tried to bat kenny's prying hands away. 

"fucking pretend i'm kyle. i don't care." kenny barked, the volume of his voice surprising himself. cartman's eyes widened, and though his expression remained unchanged, kenny felt his body relax beneath his hand. _good,_ he thought. _now we're getting somewhere._

"tell me - what would kyle do in this situation?" 

cartman's voice was tiny, barely audible. had the room been any larger, it would've dwarfed his little words, but thankfully, they were trapped within a space that kenny could easily hear them in. 

"kyle wouldn't care about being gentle," cartman began. "he would flip me over and fuck me over the counter." he said softly, unable to meet kenny's eyes. it bugged him out that eric had suddenly clammed up like this, gotten all demure, but there wasn't time enough to alter the mood. he had to act fast.

eric was blushing by the time he'd been helped down from the counter. he was almost _shy,_ a word kenny never would have foreseen himself applying to eric cartman of all people. it was adorable, but kenny felt all kinds of off without the familiarity of his jeers.

"bend over." kenny said, quietly but firmly. eric obeyed like a child, tentative and constantly checking for affirmation. he folded his arms on the counter and did as he was told. it was bizarre - kenny's arousal was beginning to turn into fear. was this what cartman really wanted? 

kenny couldn't keep up the charade. he broke character. he started laughing.

it was a deep, goofy laughter that filled the already-tiny space far too quickly. it bubbled over the surface and spilled out into the rest of the world. it was kenny's security blanket, his defense mechanism. cartman looked back at him, eyebrows furrowing in a (thank god) familiar way.

"hey! what's the hold up? something funny?" he yapped, shaking his ass in a comically tempting way. there was a smile back on his face, and kenny felt okay again. he didn't want to be cartman's kyle. he wanted to be cartman's _kenny,_ and if cartman refused him, he had to man up and be okay with it.

"nah. well, yeah. kyle's hair." kenny lied.

cartman exhaled through his nose. a baby laugh.

"hurry up already." he demanded.

kenny didn't need to be told twice. he grabbed the waistbands of eric's shorts and boxers, tugging them down to his knees in one fell swoop. he'd always wondered what it'd be like to do this, and though he admittedly wished that the circumstances were a little different, he was fucking grateful.

cartman's ass was round and welcoming, thighs so plump that you couldn't even see his dick through them. kenny knew he had to _hurry up already,_ but he wanted to take a moment to remember this image. he'd store it with the one he'd taken the other day. 

it was in that moment of tranquil admiration of cartman's perfect butt that kenny remembered with a start that he'd have to run upstairs to grab lube. shit - he _knew_ if he so much as _looked away_ for even a _moment_ he'd lose this precious chance. he had to make something up on the spot.

_what would kyle do?_

_kyle would shove his fingers between eric's flawless lips, tell him to 'get them nice and wet' and use the resulting spit as lube._

it was a startlingly vivid image, and kenny wasn't entirely comfortable with it. but he trusted his kyle-intuition and did it. eric's mouth was so fucking warm and soft and nice, and the way he _whimpered_ when he was given an order - shit, kenny kinda saw the appeal of all this.

he withdrew his fingers and focused his attentions on loosening cartman up. he was _tight,_ but oh-so-willing. kenny was surprised at how quickly the muscles gave way, how quickly eric relaxed around him, granted him complete and utter access to his body. the soft little moans that escaped cartman's lips only urged kenny to _hurry hurry hurry._

"please, please, put it in already-" cartman begged. kenny was faced with a choice - be kyle or be himself. always the coward, he chose the former. 

"beg." he said simply, voice as commanding as he could get it without sounding like a bad kyle impression. "tell me exactly what you want and where you want it." he felt guilty, embarrassing cartman like this - he was no kyle. he wanted to be able to laugh with cartman, to fuck and then watch shitty stoner movies afterwards.

he didn't want to hurt him. didn't want to humiliate him like this.

but he knew what eric wanted.

"ugh, _kyle-_ " cartman whined, stabbing kenny's heart with a clean, freshly-sharpened blade. he was actually taken aback at how much that name hurt him to hear. this was too much - he decided to let his dick do the thinking from now on - his brain was far too sensitive. "i need you-"

unlike kenny, kenny's dick was surprisingly on board with this roleplay shit.

"i need you- i need you to fuck me-" eric sighed breathlessly, hips swaying with a mind of their own. kenny was overwhelmed by how sexy cartman was when he was all turned on like this. he felt so lucky -

"kyle-- i need your dick inside me--" 

welp, maybe not so lucky. also, fuck that sentence. gross-ass bullshit fantasies.

at any rate, kenny was through with holding back. he got his dick out and shakily aligned himself with cartman's entrance. it made him so _mad,_ thinking about that crazy sack of shit that eric was always mooning over. kyle would _never_ love cartman, he was sure of it. eric's _destiny_ talks were all full of shit.

all that aggression came out at once as he forced himself into eric - it was a sensation he was wholly unprepared for. overwhelming. intoxicating. kenny could barely breathe - all he could focus on was cartman's trembling shoulders, the way he was standing on the tips of his toes -

it was all so _debauched_ \- fucking cartman silly in the middle of the goddamn kitchen, pretending he was kyle broflovski _of all people._ though freud would've had a field day, kenny decided there was no point thinking about it logically. he had to live in the moment, feel everything there was to feel before eric slipped away.

he pounded into him, pushing him further and further up onto the counter, unable to stop himself. he had this manic energy in his bones, and if he stopped moving, he'd disintegrate, leave nothing but a pile of dust on the floor. the moment was so fragile, and he was determined to enjoy it no matter who eric was thinking about.

"shit- you feel so fucking good-" kenny moaned, not even thinking. the words left his mouth of their own volition. his body moved of its own volition. his whole existence was cartman, and he loved it loved it loved it loved it -

"mmm- kenny-" cartman gasped, nails scraping uselessly at the countertop. kenny's heart was reborn, and it swelled, just like the motherfucking grinch on christmas day. he dug his nails into cartman's hips, fucking him harder, falling in love like the dumbass he was.

"ahh- right there-!" eric cried, and kenny obliged, thrusting his hips forward at the same angle, hitting a spot that made cartman's eyes well up with happy tears. he wasn't gonna last, not when he could _hear that shit,_ hear cartman falling apart and murmuring _kenny, kenny, kenny-_

cartman looked back at him, eyes full of desperation and arousal - kenny had another mental image for his rapidly-expanding gallery. he couldn't handle that look - eric was too fucking powerful. his hips had a mind of their own, all he could do was go along with the ride.

he reached forward, grabbing eric's dick - he wanted more of that fucking _look -_

_do it again,_ thought kenny. _make that face again._

his strokes were feverish and obviously overstimulating, because cartman made that face again, mouth falling open as he came into kenny's palm. that perfect face - kenny thanked god for being able to witness it.

"kenny- cum inside me-" eric pleaded, voice weak and breathy. he was so _tight,_ and kenny couldn't resist. who the fuck cared if stan and kyle came home and walked in on this. let them see. _let kyle see._

he came deep inside, riding out his climax until he was positive cartman had sucked every last drop out of him. he pulled out, savoring the sight of eric slumped over the counter like that, pink-faced and panting. his gallery was growing fast.

"shit-" eric sighed, standing up and making himself decent, albeit shakily. "kenny- i- didn't realize we were-" he stammered, for once at a loss for words. seeing cartman like this made kenny's heart swell with affection - his brain played a _mean_ devil's advocate. _see? he's harmless. he's just a confused boy. he's not the monster we all make him out to be._

"didn't realize we were what?" kenny asked, zipping up his jeans and checking to make sure there wasn't any cum on the floor.

"...uh, _compatible._ " cartman said, almost in disbelief. kenny couldn't help but laugh.

they could've had a moment, but suddenly there was the telltale sound of keys in the door - followed immediately by kyle's booming voice.

**"we're back!"**

cartman give kenny a look he'd remember forever. a mischievous little smile, surprisingly innocent - a look that meant _this stays between us._

_kenny wanted everything to stay between them._

 

 

 

**3**

the kitchen incident remained between them. it was something to be discussed non-verbally, through smiles and glances and brushes of shoulders. stan and _fucking_ kyle were none the wiser, and that was for the best.

there was a part of kenny screaming to make eric his own, to stand up and announce that they were hooking up, that he was off-limits, but he knew that cartman probably didn't consider their two incidents to be 'hooking up', and he definitely wouldn't be open to the idea of being mutually exclusive.

kenny was about to fall asleep - he'd been having weird dreams lately, and he wasn't particularly looking forward to tonight's episode of _kenny is naked in the middle of the condo and can't move and then lil pump shows up and tells him to stop being jealous of kyle._

cartman had been asleep for a few hours already, breathing softly in the bed across from his own. it was torture, sharing a room like this. being this close and yet unable to get what he wanted. kenny would sometimes watch his sleeping face (just for a little while, not for a creepy amount of time or anything), but tonight cartman was facing the wall.

kenny stared up at the ceiling, wondering how the hell he'd even gotten this deep. he'd always been terrified of feelings like these - even now, using the word 'love' to describe what he felt towards eric made him a little uneasy. but knowing that he was forever out of reach, forever kyle's, made kenny feel secure in a way.

there was no relationship to uphold, no drama, no strings attached. it was everything he'd ever wanted - and he fucking hated it. he hated every part of it. he thought it was stupid, thought _kyle_ was stupid, thought cartman was stupid for wanting someone who was clearly not interested, thought he himself was stupid for getting into this mess.

he wanted to ask cartman out. he wanted to take him on shitty dates and kiss him and buy him flowers and all that garbage. he'd never done that for anyone before, never felt the urge to, but now that he'd realized that he wanted it, it couldn't happen soon enough. he was tempted to wake eric up right then and there, take him to olive garden and buy him something yummy.

he was snapped out of his reverie by the pit-pat of bare feet on carpet. he looked up - cartman was getting up. maybe to go to the bathroom?

"kenny, can you...uh...do me a quick favor?" eric asked, uncharacteristically sheepish. he was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he awaited kenny's answer.

"uh, yeah, sure, what is it?" 

cartman took a few steps foward, tentatively crawling into bed alongside kenny. it was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. kenny's heart was racing - there was no way in hell he'd be able to get to sleep now. god - he was so _warm,_ and curled up against him like this, kenny could almost pretend that they were -

hey. _don't catch feelings, mccormick._

"i need you." eric said simply, and kenny instantly understood. the house was silent, there was nobody to stop them. if eric was feeling lonely, kenny had to be there for him. he was ashamed of how his dick was already starting to stiffen as he looked into those deep brown eyes. _cute - he's so cute -_

"mm...alright-" kenny smiled, kissing the pure white skin on cartman's forehead. "no problem. just tell me if anything hurts." his voice was scarcely above a whisper - the loudest sound in the room was the rustle of the sheets as kenny pinned eric to the mattress.

"quiet-" cartman giggled, voice barely audible. kenny liked this game - he knew there was no _way_ cartman would be able to stay quiet a couple minutes from now. arms heavy with arousal, he began to pull eric's shirt off, tossing it to the floor. he wanted to see _everything_ this time.

he ran his hands down cartman's chest, down his stomach, all the way to the hem of his boxers. there wouldn't be a need for these anymore - kenny tugged them down to eric's ankles, helping him out of them.

eric was completely naked beneath him - kenny couldn't stop staring. he was _perfect -_ there wasn't a single thing that kenny would change. he traced his fingertips down the curve of eric's waist, savoring the velveteen feel of his skin. he was everything kenny had ever wanted.

"you're so beautiful-" kenny whispered, leaning down to kiss cartman's cheek - it was tender in a way their previous encounters hadn't been. eric didn't protest, rather, he blushed furiously, avoiding eye contact. 

"nuh-uh-" cartman sighed. "look who's talking-" he brought both hands up to cup kenny's face affectionately. damn - he wasn't gonna make it through this. everything was too perfect, and he knew this moment was fleeting. the second they were finished, eric would forget about him all over again.

"eric, i'm serious - you're perfect." kenny declared, voice just a little louder than the rules of their game allowed. "you're, like, _insanely_ hot. total babe material." he gushed, kissing down cartman's neck, hands roaming over his chest, grabbing shamelessly.

eric let out a tiny moan - had he not been doing his best to stay quiet, kenny might've missed it. but he was glad his ears had caught it. he wondered if his _mental images of cartman in sexual situations_ gallery supported audio uploads.

"stop flattering me-" cartman grumbled, visibly embarrassed. his cheeks were a bright pink, eyebrows furrowed down in frustration. "it's gross."

if eric's goal had been to egg kenny on, he'd succeeded.

he couldn't help himself - he _needed_ to claim him, at least in some small way. he leaned down, sucking and biting at the white flesh of eric's neck until a dark red mark remained. shit- that looked _really_ good.

"hey, hey-" eric protested, trying to push kenny off of him, trying to prevent another mark from being made. "stop it, you can't do that-"

kenny felt cocky.

"oh yeah? well, i just did it, so..." he began, sitting up between cartman's legs. "...besides, it'll make kyle jealous, won't it?" it was a fucking long shot, kenny was pretty sure kyle could care less what eric did in his spare time, regardless of whether or not it was sexual in nature. but maybe the mere mention of his name would get cartman all riled up again.

"i don't care what _kyle_ thinks about fucking hickeys on my neck, i care about the fact that _you_ seem to be getting a little too into this. a litle possessive-" eric whisper-yelled. he didn't look angry, not even irritated. he just looked nervous - there was a shocking amount of honesty in his expression, and kenny couldn't help but melt at the fact that he was getting closer and closer to _knowing_ him.

"look, i'm sorry. you told me not to catch feelings, but...you should've told me that a _long_ time ago." kenny admitted, running his hand along the smooth skin of eric's thigh. "it's too late now." he grinned, not waiting to hear eric's response. he didn't _want_ a response. he just wanted to finally say it, get it out there. 

not eager to hear cartman's protests, not eager to have him balk and bail at the first sign of feelings, kenny leaned down and kissed him, effectively muffling whatever eric had wanted to say. he was a little surprised when cartman kissed back, kissed back with _fervor,_ wrapping his arms around kenny, pulling him closer.

they kissed for what seemed like hours, and kenny was 100% not complaining. he _needed_ this, needed to feel eric's skin against his own, needed to fucking _pretend they were in love._ he knew it wasn't a healthy thing to do, but fuck it. he'd take whatever he could get - he'd resigned himself to this.

when cartman finally pulled away, he stared up at kenny almost in confusion. "why," he began. "do you like me _this_ much? it's...kind of..." the thought trailed off into nothingness - eric had genuinely been reduced to a state of befuddlement, and kenny loved the way his brows turned upward, loved the way his eyes asked a plethora of silent questions.

"shit...i mean, dude," kenny whispered. "i don't know if i can remember the exact moment i decided i liked you. it's been that long." his arms were trembling as he held himself up over eric, watching his face for traces of _get-me-out-of-here._ "if you can't handle that, i'm okay with it. trust me, i know the feeling."

it seemed like karma had finally caught up to kenny for his non-committal ways, and he was so, so, so sorry to any person he'd left feeling like this.

"nah, i mean...i can _handle_ it, the way you feel about me doesn't really change the fact that i want you to fuck me," eric smiled, a tiny little grin that made kenny's heart race. "i just don't want you to get your hopes up and make what we have awkward."

kenny would do _anything_ to be this close to eric, even if that meant putting his feelings aside and never mentioning them again. it pained him to do so, but he wanted this intimacy more than he'd ever wanted anything in his entire goddamn life. he _needed_ it.

"don't worry. i won't mention it again." kenny grinned, sitting up and leaning over to go through the drawer of his nightstand. he found what he was looking for in record time and quickly refocused his attention on eric, who had all his walls back up. it was obvious from the look in his eyes. smiling, but detached. it broke kenny's heart.

regardless of how he felt, he squirted lube onto his fingers and got to work relaxing eric, trying to make him open back up to him. 

_fuck those stupid walls,_ kenny thought. he wanted to say it aloud, but he knew that he might lose this chance. _just talk to me. we're supposed to be best friends._

as dumb as it was, kenny's eyes were watering up in a situation that was supposed to be sexy. his dick was still eager, but his heart was weary and his hands were trembling as he scissored his fingers. eric was quiet. the whole room was fucking quiet, save for the sloppy sounds of kenny's hand.

"hey...are you okay?" kenny asked, leaning forward to study cartman's face. it was unreadable as always, his eyes unfocused and pointed up towards the ceiling. his lips were parted, ragged breaths escaping them. "if you want to stop..."

_"no. don't stop."_

the intensity of the words bewildered kenny, but he obliged. he pulled his hand out and tugged his own boxers down - he hated the fact that he could barely feel a thing. here he was, the dim lighting illuminating the one person he'd ever actually fallen for, a person he was about to have sex with. but he was completely and utterly numb.

he didn't say a word as he pushed himself in. eric's little lips twisted upwards into a smile, breathing out a sigh of relief at the feeling. it was just about the sexiest thing kenny had ever seen, but he was fucking _crying._

something inside him had broken. he suddenly felt everything at once, as though he were a raw nerve. his eyes wouldn't stop leaking, and the tears he'd tried to hold back fell unceremoniously onto eric's chest. he almost laughed, it was so fucking _stupid,_ he was so fucking _stupid-_

cartman opened his eyes and looked up at kenny - it only took a second - his whole face contorted into a combination of confusion and anger. 

_"hey-"_ he snapped, gently slapping kenny's cheek as if to snap him out of it. _"focus on me. you have me now. enjoy it."_

eric was right - but hedonism wasn't something kenny could chase when he was shattered like this. his hips moved forward and back, forward and back, and it felt _good,_ but he couldn't fucking bring himself to care. _this was so embarrassing._

 _"okay, fuck. pull out."_ cartman complained, pushing at kenny's chest in irritation. kenny did as he was told, resting on his haunches with a painfully hard cock and a painfully swollen heart. he stared at eric, watching him - this was a fucking dangerous situation, but kenny couldn't bring himself to care.

he'd failed. and with that failure came a sense of relief - things couldn't get any worse.

 _"kenny, look at me."_ cartman said, a surprising amount of softness in his voice. he sat up, bringing himself to eye level with kenny. god, he was pretty - even now, even when kenny hated him for breaking his heart, he was still the prettiest person kenny had ever seen. and he loved him so much it hurt.

 _"kenny..."_ cartman sighed, almost exasperated. he wrapped his arms around him, nuzzled his head into the crook of his neck. it was...a sweet gesture, and kenny could hardly believe it had come from eric cartman. he hugged him back, hugged him _hard,_ and he cried.

he cried and cried and cried until nothing else could come out. it was the first time he'd ever let anyone see him sob like that.

he couldn't deny that it felt right. it felt cleansing. he didn't want to think about what eric would do after seeing him like this - after seeing him this weak, this vulnerable, this _enamored._

he sighed, trying to calm down.

_deep breaths._

_it can't get any worse._

as his tears began to fade and his breaths returned to normal, eric laid him down on his back, pinning him. kenny didn't fight it. he blinked through watery lashes and watched eric's every move, watched the way he straddled him, watched the way he lowered himself down onto kenny's dick.

ugh, _fuck._

kenny's eyes grew dry and they focused on those _hips,_ shit, this was _everything._ his heart was in pain, but he could ignore it if it meant eric would keep riding him like that. _damn._

it was a gesture of kindness on cartman's part - he was playing it up and kenny knew that, but it was still oh-so rewarding to see his lips parted in ecstacy like that, to see his cheeks grow flushed, to hear those little sounds of joy every time he lowered himself back down.

_"mm...daddy, you feel so good-"_

it was so over-the-top. kenny knew he shouldn't be turned on by such a cheap trick, but he'd be lying if he said that it didn't drive him crazy. and besides - cartman was putting on a show for _his_ benefit. he could've walked away. he could've fucking switched rooms and ghosted the shit out of him.

but he didn't. he chose to stay, chose to cheer him up.

kenny was so overwhelmed with warmth, with affection - he couldn't help himself, he grabbed those soft hips and forced eric down.

 _"ah-!"_ cartman cried, voice sweet and thick with arousal. _shit_ \- the energy kenny had lost through his sobs came back all at once. he sat up, wrapped his arms around eric, thrusting upwards into him. he needed to be as close as he could - he pressed himself against that warm, soft body, kissed that porcelain skin, worshipped every inch of him.

eric was obviously taken back by the sudden intensity, but he wrapped his arms and legs around kenny koala-style and rolled his hips down again and again, sighing with pleasure every time. kenny would never love someone more than this. he would never feel this way about anyone else as long as he lived.

 _"kenny.."_ cartman moaned, voice cloying but refreshingly honest. there had to be a part of him, no matter how small, that cared about kenny. there just _had_ to be. ever the optimist, he clung to that moan and added it to his gallery. he framed it. he fucking prayed to it. he didn't know what to do anymore - he was completely at cartman's mercy.

"i love you- fuck, i love you _so much-_ " kenny groaned, digging his nails into cartman, his back, his ass, his hips, he held him so _tightly,_ tight enough where kyle would never be able to tear him away again. he was through with lying, with pretending he was okay with eric's feelings for that fucking bastard.

 _"kyle will never love you the way i do."_ he said. he felt brave.

_"i know."_

and yet, he didn't give up on him.

kenny admired that - and he decided to follow suit. if cartman never gave up on kyle, then kenny would never give up either. 

_"mm, cum inside, please- i need you- please-- touch me, please please please-"_ cartman begged, voice staccato with pleasure. he was so warm, so perfect, so tightly wrapped around kenny's heart.

it felt like a dream - he brought eric to orgasm, watched him fall apart. just as it happened, eric kissed him. it was such a soft kiss, such a sweet kiss - kenny almost felt like crying again. his lips were tingling with desire, moving nervously and frantically against eric's own. he was beyond infatuated.

forcing eric down onto the mattress, kenny pumped into him as hard as he could, mentally recording the way cartman's face absolutely broke with pleasure. he'd never felt so intensely - it was as though a whole new range of senses had suddenly been unlocked. he fought to keep his eyes open as he hit his climax, hands wrapped tightly around cartman's chubby little wrists.

 _"kenny-- kenny--"_ eric whispered, voice lost in all the feelings.

he could almost hear love in those words.

almost.

almost.

_almost._


End file.
